​Looking back to the beginning of 2020, I don’t even know where to begin.  It was such a whirlwind, so much happened. Kobe & Gianna Bryant, along with 7 others died in a tragic accident.  George Floyd was murdered by a police officer and the whole world watched it.  Covid-19 came and shut the planet down – literally.  Black Lives Matter protests began.  People lost jobs, lost income, and had to deal with terrible circumstances.  The political fights intensified in our nation divided by issues.  There was more division everywhere.  The world was consumed with fear.  And so many people died across the globe in a plague like never before – over 3 million due to covid. Not to mention so many other unexpected deaths in 2020 through the beginning of 2021.
While those aforementioned events and losses are some things that happened nationally and worldwide, when I look at what I personally experienced in my own life over the last 15 months, I am amazed that I came out of it and am as happy and positive as I am today.  My daughter was having an awesome senior year that ended up getting ruined, and the roller coaster that came with that was not fun at all.  I also had three surgeries in 2020.  I was one who (and still am) extremely cautious. However, despite being extra careful, I still ended up getting covid.  While I was dealing with that, my Nana was in the hospital with covid pneumonia, and others in my family ended up getting covid as well!
Although being sick and recovering was extremely difficult, the worst things that happened were losing loved ones.  My uncle who I grew up with died in a tragic drowning accident while saving his daughter, and because of covid our family could not go to the Philippines for his funeral or be there with my 13 year-old cousin (his daughter).  My Papa passed away on Christmas Eve in his sleep, of a heart attack.  I planned my Papa’s memorial via zoom and 24 hours after that was over, the love of my mom’s life passed away after being hospitalized from covid for five weeks.  I had friends pass away, many friends lost loved ones and people had to die and grieve alone because of the pandemic.  There were a lot of dark moments, and heartbreaks that left a void that time cannot fill.
I am in awe by how all of the medical professionals, first responders, teachers, admin, grocery stores, and essential workers never skipped a beat during the pandemic.  There is no way the world would have made it through without them.  They came to work, and held us together, even while our worlds fell apart, spending hours in lines for food, gas, services, and not having all the info, but they adapted graciously…in most cases.
I am grateful to have made it to the other side of things, and as I reflect back I know that even though I was locked down and working from home, I did not survive 2020 on my own.  I also know that millions of others also went through loss, depression, isolation, and survived the pandemic.  How did you get through it? 
There were some who faithfully stood by my side before, during and after all of it.  I first would like to say thank you to my wonderful children - there's no way I could have recovered from surgeries or covid without them. I am also very thankful for my Quarantine Crews.  While being sheltered in place at home, we came up with ways to connect and not go through the crisis alone.  I had a few group chats with family and lifelong, childhood friends that became an open line of communication.  It helped us keep up with each other, make sure everyone was okay, sometimes cry, and even laugh together.  My Mom and a couple of good friends who would drop off those hard-to-find supplies, and so many of us shared useful information and our resources.  I ended up joining a couple of zoom prayer groups – we prayed weekly, for everything going on, and so much more.  Personally, I cannot forget my friends and family who dropped off meals for my household when I had surgery, when my grandfather passed, and when I had covid.  Some of my close friends jumped on zoom with me and helped me prepare for my grandfather’s services.  There were some who video chatted with me and literally cried with me.  There were some individuals I developed deeper, stronger bonds with and I will be forever grateful for them.
This Thank You is for all the ones who stepped out of darkness and made it a point to be a light to others during one of the scariest times that our country and world has experienced.  There were people who stepped up and made it a point to bless others while the world was falling apart. They continued to give of themselves, despite what they had going on in their personal lives and in this world around them.  Thank you for all the little and big things you did to help brighten someone else's life and keep them going.
Lacee Green of Laced Fitness Studio was virtually challenging people to do 10 push-ups a day at some point and continued to go live to motivate & encourage others in health & fitness.  Lacee’s personality is infectious so you can feel motivated just watching her. But her going on live regularly encouraged me to start doing wall push-ups while I was in a boot recovering from ankle surgery. This acted as a catalyst into a more regular exercise routine now that I have fully recovered.  Taking good care of ourselves and being healthy was one of the biggest realities that was birthed out of the pandemic.
Comedian Denise Carter & Friends began Comedy Re-Imagined, a free virtual comedy show streaming on Friday nights.  Laughter is good medicine for the soul, and this show brought happiness to others.  Denise gave like many of us, despite her own loss, that of her own mother in 2020.  Yet, she continued to share her gift and gave others laughter during the pandemic.
I recall that while I was bedridden recovering from ankle surgery in July 2020, I ran across Howard Hewett live on Facebook, and later learned that he was going on live every day and created a whole community (FACC – Fresh Air, Cardio, Conversation and Life) that was meeting on Facebook daily.  The discussions were about health, current events, spirituality and so many other relevant topics.  Out of that group another group birthed – Howard’s Girls.  I got added to the group and wasn’t sure about what it was in the beginning.  At first, I observed for a bit, but it is seriously one of the most beautiful group of women who are supportive, positive, uplifting women, who love music.  Howard Hewett also put on Shut-In Mini-Concert Series which were full on concerts via Facebook, and they too were free.  Music is a great way to make people feel good and be inspired.
There were also people who sent (and still send) daily encouragement via text message.  Rodney Ivey texts a thought-provoking daily devotional every day, which are really good.  Nina Wells began sending me daily scriptures shortly after my grandfather passed.  There were also some other loved ones who would share inspiring word, quotes and songs that were good for the spirit.  Sending me spiritual food has been vital during such a challenging season, and I am honored that is on their heart to do so.  The time and effort they take to build up others is appreciated. 
There were ministries that didn’t skip a beat.  Our church (Miracle Center Church Ventura) had prayer with other ministries daily.  They also had toilet paper and cleaning supplies available for those who had a need.  One other thing I really appreciated was my pastor, Pastor Lonnie McCowan, making himself available to help me with my grandfather’s services. He did not waiver, even when dealing with losing his own father a few days after my Papa passed.  He and his wife never skipped a beat with ministry – Sunday services, weekly bible study, supporting many who lost loved ones and dealt with crisis – regardless of they had going on in their own personal lives.
No one told any of the people or groups I mentioned to do the things they did to keep us moving in hopeful ways.  Nobody paid them or forced them to.  They gave of themselves and helped so many get through the pandemic.  Their selfless acts of love and kindness do not go unnoticed.  I am so thankful for them being a part of what helped me through one of the toughest years ever.  I pray for each and every one of them that God returns to them what they poured out to others, and multiplies it.  These, along with some of my closest friends and family are how I made it through the pandemic.  Many rose up , walked in and shared love in a very real way.  It was all from the heart.
Several things that were most important rose up, not only to take top priority but to help see me through the last 15 months. Those things are Faith, Family, and Friends.  How did you get through the pandemic?  Things have opened back up and the pace is picking back up again.  Let’s not lose sight of what proved to be really important during some of the darkest times of our lives  Make sure to thank those who helped you get through one of the toughest years we have experienced, yet.  We cannot go back to “normal” and act like all that took place did not happen.  We need to tread lightly and make some room for healing - individually, as communities, as a country and internationally.  Whether it was via texting, zoom, facetiming, phone calls or letters…do not forget to thank those who showed up.

I happily burst across that line, entering my 40’s with my “theme” literally written across my shirt that read:  “I’m Just Getting Started.”  I felt like I was finally at a place where I had enough successes and failures (or better called lessons) to help me understand enough about what works to help me thrive and what could detour or derail me from my purpose and my destiny.  By the time we turn 40, many of us pretty much have gotten to know ourselves and hopefully love ourselves enough to unapologetically go after what keeps us healthy and makes us happy.  We are at a place where we aren’t trying to impress anyone and are very comfortable in our own shoes.  We have learned that time is valuable, people are priceless and that there is a long list of things that we need that money can’t buy.
    Live.  Time is valuable.  It is precious and priceless.  Each day is a gift, and none of us know how much time we have here on earth.  The popular phrase YOLO (meaning you only live once) is often used as a reason to go out and live careless and with risky behavior, but knowing that YOLO should motivate each of us to make the very best out each day, week, month and year that we are afforded.  When we rush through life trying to get too much done too fast, we can easily miss the important things – the moments, the people, and the millions of beautiful things that are happening around us every single second.  We should try to be present in the moments.  Don’t be so distracted that you completely miss it.  Don’t simply exist, but make sure you LIVE.
    Love.  Love is a beautiful thing, and everyone should experience it.  One thing that I have found to be true is we cannot give something to others that we ourselves do not possess.  In order to be able to love others, you must have love in your heart.  And what’s in your heart will come out of your mouth and show up in your actions.  On the other side of that, in order to be able to receive love from others, you have to be willing to open your heart.  If your heart has been hurt or wounded in the past, take the time to heal – so that you can fully experience love again.  If you put up walls to try and protect yourself, the same walls can prevent the good things from getting to you.  There is no fear in love. 
Learn to love yourself, and treat yourself in a manner where you show yourself love.  Find out what your love language is (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is an excellent resource on this topic).  Treat yourself well – get enough sleep, exercise, eat things that are good for you, have healthy boundaries (it’s okay to say no), do things that bring you joy.  Get around people who love you, and share that love with others.  Love reciprocates.
    Laugh.  They say laughter is good medicine for the soul, and that is the truth.  Laughing creates the right chemicals in our bodies that make us feel good and can lift a heavy heart when feeling low.  Laughter is extremely healthy.  We can be proactive and purposely put ourselves in situations that will make us laugh – that could be a funny movie, a comedy show, being around someone with a great sense of humor, or observing something very sweet or silly.  Find out what makes you smile, giggle, chuckle and get more of that in your life!
    Lastly, get a good tribe.  Even though social media and technology are designed to help us become more connected, there seems to be more of a disconnection between us all.  Fear is plaguing our society and so more people are tend to isolate.  We are not designed to do life alone.  We can get so much further and much more accomplished together.  Surround yourself with people who build you up, pull you up when you’re down and will pull the best out of you.  Living, loving and laughing is so much better with others. ​

“Sometimes good and bad things can happen in the same day. It’s which one you give power to that will determine which type of day that you will have.” ~ Inez Spates | 2.14.2018
As I drew closer to my 41st birthday, I began to reflect over the last year of my life as I tend to do around this time of the year. I could recall the sheer excitement that I felt when turning 40 years old. It felt like a huge milestone for so many reasons – there were things that I heard that were normal such as you really know who you are and what you want by the time you turn 40. And then there were those things that were specific to my own life and circumstances - in a nutshell, I spent my 20’s learning how to be a wife and a mom, and then I spent my 30’s simply trying to successfully survive single parenting. What I have learned is that whether you are married or single, a mother or not, women are often relational and we spend a lot of time wearing many hats and being a lot of things to many people. As seasons change, there is usually a window of opportunity for us to find ourselves again (or maybe even find ourselves for the very first time).
In my late 30’s I began to realize a lot of things about myself, so I anticipated getting to that place of complete confidence and acceptance in who I truly am as a person and as a woman. I pretty much know what I like and know what I don’t like. I love people, but I am a little more on the introverted side. I am somewhat of a nerd, a bookworm, appreciate knowledge, enjoy math, absolutely embrace music, am a little bit of a techy and actually like to draw when I have time. I had to step back from outside environmental influences and figure out what I like doing and simply do it. Even if everyone that I know do not like the same things and I have no one to do them with, I decided to simply do them – and that rekindled a fire inside of me that seemed to have died many years before. Once the spark flamed up again, there was not stopping it this time.
Even though I like to be respectful and friendly, I no longer allow people to try and persuade, guilt or bully me into doing things that I cannot happily and peacefully do. Often times, we will do things we don’t want to do simply because we want to help someone or not disappoint those we care about. But when we do things (we don’t really want to do) to appease others, we are not being true to ourselves. That is actually betraying ourselves. Doing that causes inner conflict, so even though you may be keeping the peace or pleasing someone you care about ,you cannot be at peace with yourself in the process. For myself, that meant saying no to a lot of people and things that were used to hearing yes. It wasn’t easy at first, and I made a lot of people upset, but setting boundaries helped me stay on track, keep my priorities straight and allowed me to put my energy into the places where I desired – which ultimately made me an overall happier person. This is likely one of the major things that fueled me to simply be my authentic self, not caring whether people liked me or things about me. I became seriously comfortable with myself.
One of the things that became an important part of my life during chapter 40 was embracing and appreciating the tribe of women I have in my life. I brought in my 40th birthday with a group of women who are special to me. Although I had a very full schedule most of the time between work, school and my children, I made it a point to periodically get together with my female friends, and that added so much to my life. Something about having really good female friends has been really empowering. I would say get some friends in your life who will encourage you, celebrate you, genuinely care about you, who you can laugh and cry with, but who you also give permission to let you know when you’re wrong and check you if you need to be.
So the truth is year 40 was amazing! It came with so many new and good people and experiences. I was a lot more intentional about what I wanted to accomplish and how I would spend my time, talent and resources. But of course it would make sense that I could do a better job at that because I knew and understood more of who I was as an individual and as a woman. I knew who I was and where I wanted to go by this time. A week after I turned 40 I went to Hawaii for the first time with two of my best friends. That was an awesome experience – water is my element (and I am my best when I am near it), the food was delicious, and for the first time in my life I experienced being in a place where the majority of the people actually looked like me. I never realized that I had been a minority - when it came to outer appearance – everywhere I had been in my life up until that moment. I also had a chance to go to the east coast and visit national monuments, and I experienced the African American Museum in DC. And I went to Detroit for the first time in 25 years and had a chance to visit with my grandma and reconnect with family, including cousins I had been so close to growing up.
I created a list of things that I wanted to do over the year, and at the top of the list was changing my last name back to my maiden name. I had kept my married last name in order to keep the same last name as my children because I knew how people act towards moms who have children with different last names as them, and I also kept it because it was going to be so much work to change everything back. After getting my children used to the idea, I took care of it, and it felt really good to take my name back, my Papa’s last name. The real motivation behind changing it was wanting MY last name on my degree and on the books I plan on writing.
Some other new things that I did while I was 40 was invite some new people into my life. I didn’t just open the door to any folks, but I gained a couple of mentors (one professional and one personal). I have had many examples (models) in my life, but gaining mentors took things to a whole ‘nother level. At that point I was accountable, but I opened the door to welcome in some new ideas (even if I didn’t like them), support and people to help push me along the way. I also gained a couple of coaches. I decided to take some time with a relationship coach because I figured that since we spend time and effort getting trainers to exercise, dieticians to eat right, counselors to walk through things with, why not find out what a relationship coach could add to my life since I was finally ready to invest in that part of my life. I am currently part of a leadership program at work right now and an added bonus that came with that was another coach – and how eye-opening and helpful she been to coach me through work and personal situations.
Since I became accustomed to simply deciding to do things that interested me, I attended a retreat in the late summer and gained some new knowledge and useful information, but I also had a tremendous amount of fun and built some new relationships. I went to Las Vegas in the fall to attend a summit for women who had some been effected by the medical device/birth control Essure. For the first time I met with a group of women who quickly became my sisters due to similar experiences and survival. I also began participating in and networking with a professionals’ singles group. I never expected to do anything like that, but I decided to check it out and I have learned so much and met some interesting men and women of substance, many with similar goals and desires. These things were all a part of the commitment to go and do new things. Getting out of the area and trying new things exposed me to other environments and different groups of people. The changes that have come with it have challenged and greatly motivated me to grow even more. There is just so much more to life, and being open to it will bless your life greater than you could even imagine.
Two weeks ago I walked across the finish line during a commencement ceremony and earned my long awaited degree – a Bachelor of Science in Organizational Management. Getting my degree while working full time, raising children solo, having major surgery and living through ups and downs, took more determination than I had ever expected. But I finished “by the time I was 40” as I had always hoped for but had almost given up on.
I could probably continue one for another few pages of amazing experiences for another few pages, but I cannot forget that year 40 also came with its share of very tough hardships. Not only were the highly magnified ongoing negative events taking place in our country seeming to weigh down on everyone, but there were so many deaths – personal, well known celebrity losses. There were so many deaths and so much pain for so many people, and there was no way any decent caring person could ignore that. My friend’s 19 year old son (and friend of my sons), Jeremiah McCowan, committed suicide last year. This brought so many kinds of emotions and still do. After the new year, a friend at work told me her father-in-law committed suicide right before Christmas and they didn’t know why. People I highly respected and cared for went onto heaven, including my Uncle Richard Wunk, Mr. Bedford Pinkard, Mrs. Irene Clifton, Mr. George Sellers and a very special man who was a father figure to me, Reverend Robert Cox (and there were many more and I have many friends who experienced so much loss in 2018). There was violence, injustices, shootings, including the Borderline shooting right here in our County. We dealt with fires here in SoCal, and then a government shutdown which effected so many of my friends in a negative way. In the middle of that I had my own personal storms that came up, and sometimes those things came up back-to-back to back. All kinds of things happened, and there were (and still are) a lot of hurting people everywhere.
I had some of the best experiences of my life over this last year. Since I was intentional and wrote down things I wanted to do, I stayed on track and used my time very effectively. One of things that became more real to me above all else is that community is vital to thriving and being our best as people, families and beyond. We were not designed to do this thing alone. Having God and really good people in my life, especially people who will step in and pray and take action when I feel weak, have helped me make it through fire and not getting burned. I also had to remind myself that blessings come and sometimes the challenges come at the same time (simply to try and take our eyes off of the blessings), but there are always more good days than bad and what we focus on is what will grow. We decide what we will give power to in our lives. I also learned to put into practice that if you truly want something different then you have to make a decision to take different actions.
This is my last day being 40 years old. It will never come again, and although I am not bubbling over in as much excitement as I did at 40, I am starting page 1 of chapter 41 with much more boldness, confidence, peace and grit.
Some words recently shared with me that have stuck with me the most in the last couple of weeks have been: “It’s time to move onto your next chapter. Make a decision to write it well.” And that’s exactly what I plan to do.

​Well, now that everyone is back in school, life seems to be getting back into its normal routine. People will be working away until the holidays come. However, before Thanksgiving and Christmas come along, it will be election time in the United States of America. Candidates are beginning to rev up on their final stretch of the campaign trail. There is a stronger presence as they show their faces at public events so that we can get to know them a little better. When candidates share their lives and opinions with us it doesn’t only benefit them, but it really benefits us. During this time we have a chance to “get to know” them a little bit better and find out whom fits closest to what we believe. We want to vote for candidates who represent us (and our views on topics that are important to us) best. Each one of our votes count and make a difference. 

In a recent Facebook post, I wrote: 
“ If Voting Really Doesn't Matter...
• Why did people of color and women go through what they did to get the right to vote?
• Why do those in power try to keep others from voting?
• Why do politicians spend so much time, money & effort trying to get you to vote for them?
• Why is it that it's more educated people actually voting?
How do you think the rules, laws & policies that effect our every day lives are coming into play?!?!
Seriously, each & every single vote counts...don't be too busy, too distracted or just not care...because elections effect each & every one of us.
‪#‎VOTE‬”

I am aware that there are myths floating around that deceive people into believing “my one vote does not count,” but that is far from the truth. When you have thousands of people believing that same thing, it can change who gets voted into that seat in office. If your vote did not count candidates would not spend so much money and time trying to win you over simply trying to gain your vote. Another common myth that we hear is all politicians are liars. Although there have been many politicians who have come in and made empty promises or have gotten caught in scandals, there are many more still who work very hard representing us well and fighting for the needs of the community when it comes to strategic planning or implementation of public policy. So if the belief that politicians are liars is stopping you from voting that is a mistake; it should motivate you to vote so that we ensure as a collective that there are good, honest people in office.

When I was in elementary school many years ago, we learned the electoral process by taking votes on some of the simplest things. We were taught that we had a voice and that voice could make a difference. We were taught that if we wanted something a certain way there were steps we could take to make it happen. These things were instilled into us at a young age. We must continue that education and engagement of the next generation so that they too see it as a natural process. For some of us, it may take a little more effort to change our mindsets, that our voice counts, but it can be done.

I want you to really give this some serious thought:  Many people are choosing to be a part of a political party because their families or people they deeply respect are a part of that party. Some of those same people do not even believe in the same things that party does. Tradition and not individual values have shaped the outlook. The same truth can be said for voting for a particular candidate although we have not taken time to review their political track record. We could be casting our votes haphazardly. So many times people will vote for a candidate based on what their friends, peers and other trusted sources are telling them. But they do not know what the candidate truly believes. 

Why is it so important for us to know what the candidates believe? Well, once he or she is elected into office they are going to be making decisions, and creating and implementing policies and laws that are going to affect your life and the future of our community. What if the candidate for example, desires to tear down your neighborhood in order to build a new shopping center and give home owners cash to move out of the area but that transition is not in your master plan? It sounds far-fetched but changes are taking place all around us and the decision makers we vote for are a part of representing the change we want to see or in maintaining stability in areas that were are satisfied with. So let's do our part and take our electoral rights seriously. If we want our elected officials and people in power making those decisions to speak for us, to stand us for us and to consider us, then we need people in office who can represent us. The only way to get them into office to actively participate in getting them there, and one way to do that is by voting them into office.

I love the fact that during election time my family and I will have discussions about candidates and propositions. When my daughter was 7 years old she “voted” by sharing with us who she wanted to win. We discuss major topics and propositions because ultimately they effect the way we all live life here in our country. We watch the results together and cheer our candidates on. We don’t always agree with each other’s choices, but we respectfully hear each other out and have very good discussions. Not only does this encourage healthy debates, but it is instilling good voting practices into my children at a young age.

I was 18 years old the first time that I voted. I was very excited about it because it was a new right that I wanted to exercise. I am pretty opinionated and have strong beliefs, so I wanted to participate in the process of determining who entered office. Another reason for my jubilation was that I sincerely value my right to vote so much so because I know that if I was born earlier I would not possess these same rights. Women did not earn the right to vote until the 19th Amendment was passed in 1920. It wasn’t until the 15th Amendment was passed in 1870 that granted citizens the right to vote, regardless of race or color. Not until the Voting Rights Act of 1965 removed other unnecessary barriers which were stopping African Americans from voting did a complete opening of electoral citizen based rights become set. I am aware that many people paid a huge price, some including their lives, in order for people like myself to have the right to vote. I do not take that lightly and appreciate the fact that I can vote.

I want to encourage everyone who is able to vote to register and remain an active participant in the electoral process. If you need to update your voter registration now is a very good time to do so. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. We still have a little bit of time until election, so please take the time to get to know who and what you are voting for. Don’t wait until a person gets into office and have regrets. Find out what they believe, what they have accomplished and their voting pattern has been in the past with where they have cast their votes on in previous years. Make informed decisions. Your one vote does count. Your say makes a difference. Let’s work on having more people in office that will truly represent the community's people and represent us well.

There's this little coffee shop that I pass by every Sunday that's hidden in the business area off of Gonzales Road and Lombard in Oxnard.   In the past, I  have been there a couple of times for coffee when I had to go to one of the nearby businesses, and the coffee is really good!  Recently I decided to do something different and order breakfast to go on my way to work.  I was very happy with the service:  my coffee and food were made very quickly, which is a determining factor on places I may consider stopping on my way to work.  Most of us live very busy lives, so we will pay a little more money for fast service.    However, I ordered a spinach omelet and an ice blended coffee, and it was less than $10!  When I got to work I opened up my box, and not only was there a generously sized omelet, but it also included a small side of potatoes and fruit!  Not only do they make delicious coffee, but the food there is just as yummy.  

If you're thinking about making a stop for some good coffee, want the nice small coffee shop feel but don't want to wait forever for your order, I would recommend giving this play a try.  

Cuppa Joe is located at 1751 Lombard Street in Oxnard and is open Monday-Friday from 6:30am-3pm.

The New Year is finally here, and I am very excited about it!
One very important lesson that I learned over the past couple of years is when you make a decision to fill yourself with good and surround yourself with good, it is inevitable that good will flow out of you.  Not only will good things - thoughts, words, and actions - become a lifestyle, but then you will also become a magnet and attract good things to yourself.   If you truly desire something - that aligns with God's will - have faith & believe, speak it and prepare for it.  Do not allow adversity to stop you from obtaining your destiny!  
Make a decision to go after your purpose - and don't stop until you get it!  The road may not be easy, but it's those who don't give up that end up finishing the race.
You can do this!  I am rooting for you.
~Inez

Well, now that everyone is back in school, life seems to be getting back into its normal routine. People will be working away until the holidays come.  However before Thanksgiving and Christmas come along, it will be election time in the United States of America.  Candidates are beginning to rev up on their final stretch of the campaign trail. There is a stronger presence as they show their faces at public events so that we can get to know them a little better.  When candidates share their lives and opinions with us it doesn’t only benefit them, but it really benefits us.  During this time we have a chance to “get to know” them a little bit better and find out whom fits closest to what we believe.  We want to vote for candidates who represent us (and our views on topics that are important to us) best.  Each one of our votes count and make a difference. 

I am aware that there are myths floating around that deceive people into believing “my one vote does not count,” but that is far from the truth.  When you have thousands of people believing that same thing, it can change who gets voted into that seat in office.  If your vote did not count candidates would not spend so much money and time trying to win you over simply trying to gain your vote.  Another common myth that we hear is all politicians are liars.  Although there have been many politicians who have come in and made empty promises or have gotten caught in scandals, there are many more still who work very hard representing us well and fighting for the needs of the community when it comes to strategic planning or implementation of public policy.  So if the belief that politicians are liars is stopping you from voting that is a mistake; it should motivate you to vote so that we ensure as a collective that there are good, honest people in office.

When I was in elementary school many years ago, we learned the electoral process by taking votes on some of the simplest things.  We were taught that we had a voice and that voice could make a difference.  We were taught that if we wanted something a certain way there were steps we could take to make it happen.  These things were instilled into us at a young age. We must continue that education and engagement of the next generation so that they too see it as a natural process.  For some of us, it may take a little more effort to change our mindsets, that our voice counts, but it can be done.

I want you to really give this some serious thought. Many people are choosing to be a part of a political party because their families or people they deeply respect are a part of that party.  Some of those same people do not even believe in the same things that party does.  Tradition and not individual values have shaped the outlook. The same truth can be said for voting for a particular candidate although we have not taken time to review their political track record.  We could be casting our votes haphazardly. So many times people will vote for a candidate based on what their friends, peers and other trusted sources are telling them. But they do not know what the candidate truly believes.  

Why is it so important for us to know what the candidates believe?  Well, once he or she is elected into office they are going to be making decisions and voting on laws that are going to affect your life and the future of our community. What if the candidate for example, desires to tear down your neighborhood in order to build a new shopping center and give home owners cash to move out of the area but that transition is not in your master plan? It sounds far-fetched but changes are taking place all around us and the decision makers we vote for are a part of representing the change we want to see or in maintaining stability in areas that were are satisfied with. So let's do our part and take our electoral rights seriously.

I love the fact that during election time my family and I will have discussions about candidates and propositions.  When my daughter was 7 years old she “voted” by sharing with us who she wanted to win.  We watch the results together and cheer our candidates on.  We don’t always agree with each other’s choices, but we respectfully hear each other out and have very good discussions.  Not only does this encourage health debates, but it is instilling good voting practices into my children at a young age.

I was 18 years old the first time that I voted.  I was very excited about it because it was a new right that I wanted to exercise.  I am pretty opinionated and have strong beliefs, so I wanted to participate in the process of determining who entered office.  Another reason for my jubilation was that I sincerely value my right to vote so much so because I know that if I was born earlier I would not possess these same rights.  Women did not earn the right to vote until the 19th Amendment was passed in 1920.   It wasn’t until the 15th Amendment was passed in 1870 that granted citizens the right to vote, regardless of race or color.  Not until the Voting Rights Act of 1965 removed other unnecessary barriers which were stopping African Americans from voting did a complete opening of electoral citizen based rights become set.  I am aware that many people paid a huge price, some including their lives, in order for people like myself to have the right to vote.  I do not take that lightly and appreciate the fact that I can vote.

I want to encourage everyone who is able to vote to register and remain an active participant in the electoral process.  If you need to update your voter registration now is a very good time to do so.  Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.  We still have a few months until election, so please take the time to get to know who and what you are voting for.  Don’t wait until a person gets into office and have regrets.  Find out what they believe, what they have accomplished and their voting pattern has been in the past with where they have cast their votes on in previous years.  Make informed decisions.  Your one vote does count.  Your say makes a difference.  Let’s work on having more people in office that will truly represent the community's people and represent us well.

As we prepare to enter into the last quarter of the year, we can paint a pretty good picture about what our year consisted of for the most part.  Every year we begin with resolutions, goals and objectives.  This year is going by very quickly.  It is a another reminder that time waits for no one.  When time flies by very fast and our lives are filled with a lot - of activities, work, family, events, and the list goes on - we can easily lose focus on our goals and objectives.   This is one of the reasons why writing down the vision and making it plain is vital.  Writing down goals helps keep us on path.

I like to evaluate myself and where I am at in my life quite frequently.  It helps me stay focused.  Thanks to a long time friend, I also added a vision board to 2014, and so I see the things that I am working towards each and every day.   Not only do I have goals in front of my eyes, but I also evaluate my life with some questions.   These are good questions to ask yourself:  Am I where I want to be?  Am I closer to my goal?  Or am I further away from it?  Have I gotten myself off track?  What do I need to do to reach my goal by the deadline that I have given myself?

One of the things that I have learned over time is who and what we are connected to has a great impact on our lives.  We are connected to someone and something, but the question is what are we connected to?  Being connected to the wrong people can effect your life in a negative way.  If you want to progress in life and be your best, you want to stay away from people who will pull you back.  These people may genuinely care for you and not have bad intentions, but they are not good for you.  They may even be preventing you from reaching your destiny.

If you want your life to produce good fruit and be filled with positive things, then let go of the negative people, environments and activities.  You must  get around successful people in order to have a better chance at succeeding yourself.  Successful people speak different - they motivate, encourage, use constructive criticism and want to see you succeed.  The people who accomplish their goals live different from the norm; that is way they stand out.  They complete their tasks.  They don't give up when things become difficult or when people tell them they can't do something.  They take care of business properly.

I simply wanted to share briefly on the subject of connections.  Everyone is connected to something in some kind of way.  Just know, you have a choice in who and what you are connected to.  Think about where you want to go in life and choose accordingly.  It's just that simple.  It's not always easy, but it is very simple.

I don't usually blog about people or share their stories. However, there is a family that lives here locally that has truly touched my life. And I would like to share with you how they have and continue to do so.

I met Dena a few years ago through mutual friends.  I then found out that age was also a Mary Kay consultant, which is something I was doing at that time. Through Facebook we got to know each other a little bit better, and it was through Facebook that I got to find out what an incredible woman she really is.

Dena invited me to a Facebook event a couple of years ago entitled Kylee's Cause. It was at this time that I found out more in depth about what her daughter, Kylee, had been going through.  I read the details and saw that her daughter had been very sick and what started off with a dislocated ankle has ended up becoming quite the journey.   After finding out about Kylee’s Cause I would then follow Dena on Facebook to find out what was going on with Kylee. I would see that Kylee would faint of nowhere and that was devastating to me, so I could not imagine what her mother and entire family were going through. As a mother I could not imagine going through what Dena was dealing with. However, through all of it, I would see she kept pushing and fighting – with big smile on her face.  And although she was dealing with all of this, she would still take the time to encourage others and have a very positive attitude, despite the circumstances around her.   

Dena was on this journey and determined to find out what was going on Kylee.  Although she was dealing with all that was going on with Kylee, she also has a 10 year old daughter and is remarried with a set of twins.  Dena's love for her family, her determination and her support system has really caught my attention.   Not only was she helping her own daughter, but I saw her connect with other families.  I saw her share information and resources and also offer moral support to those other families.   She has a huge heart filled with lots of love. 

Now I must get to the courageous Kylee.  All of these things started when Kylee was 9 years old.  It started with a sprained ankle that continuously sprained.  Then her other ankle started doing the same thing.  Then her shoulders, one by one.  After 3 years of back-to-back issues - after going through many fainting spells, loopholes, appointments, testing, doctor and ER visits, they finally got a diagnosis:  Kylee was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), which is a collagen disorder.  Kylee’s vertebrae slide around, which is also called instability. They are actually subluxing (partial dislocation). This is very dangerous and what is causing most, if not all of her neurological issues (heart rate in fluctuations, extreme blood pressure in fluctuations, inability to breathe, loss of consciousness, etc.).  Kylee has stopped breathing completely for 3 minutes (twice) and was blue in her chin and lips area.  The longest she has ever been unconscious(in a coma-like state) was 35 minutes!  In December 2010 she had a spinal fusion of the top two vertebrae, where they used her own hip along with titanium plates and screws to secure the fusion.  This corrected the angle that her head is sitting on and made more room for the bottom of her skull because her brain was cramped without enough room and her brainstem was being flattened.  Kylee is 16 years old, and she is amazing!  I can say that just about every picture her mom has shared she has been smiling - whether is in the ER, on a machine being tested, sitting in a hospital bed, on her wheelchair.  She has remained in great spirits with a smile on her face throughout everything that has tried to come against her.

Recently Kylee has started having some issues.  Now they are looking at her C4/C5 (part of vertebrae) for a possible fusion.  I had an opportunity to go spend a little bit of time with Dena, Kylee and the entire family before Kylee left to Maryland for more medical treatment a couple of Sundays ago.  I understood that Dena had to pack herself, Kylee and 10 year-old daughter to fly out within a week’s notice, so I was very grateful to receive the invite before they left. When I got there I met the entire family and finally met Kylee in person.  Shortly after I arrived, the ambulance and Angel MedFlight (www.angelmedflight.com) team arrived.  The guys from Angel MedFlight were kind and professional, very personable.  They began to ask Dena 101 questions, and she was so on top of things.  From the meds that Kylee is on, to her history with fainting, to giving the technicians very specific instructions on what they should do first if she were to stop breathing on the plane and more.  There was so much going on, and she remained calm and handled her business and her family.  Kylee was as sweet as can be. She was thankful for my support and prayers.  She chatted with me and is your typical 16 year-old junior, but very smart and mature. 

She was waiting for her dad to come to the house, so he could hold her hand while she got her IV before they put her on the stretcher. And I cannot forget the awesome support team (Go #TeamKylee!) - Kylee's stepdad, her stepmom, all of her siblings, a couple of cousins and her mom's best friend were all at the house getting ready to see them off.   When Kylee got onto the ambulance, she held up her arm with a fist, which only showed me even the more how brave and strong she is. Kylee made it to Maryland safely!  Once she got to Maryland, her mom posted a picture of her supporting a friend in the hospital, holding her hand while she got her IV (see attached). Dena's love inspires me. She did not and will not stop until she knows that Kylee is being properly taken care of and that she is receiving proper medical treatment. And Kylee's courage and great attitude, in spite of the challenges she’s encountered, amaze me.  When I think about them, I think:  "Dena's Love and Kylee's Courage."  They have truly touched my life.

They have caused me to see life so differently.  I think that we take little things in life for granted - like being able to run around freely and being able to breathe, having the security of not having major health issues.  I would be a wreck if one of my children stopped breathing for 10 seconds one time, and Dena has experienced Kylee going unconscious countless amounts of times and up to 35 minutes!  People complain about headaches and minor scrapes and bruises, and I have watched Kylee keep a smile on her face before and after having her spinal fusion, current medical condition and upcoming treatment.  She keeps a smile on her face, not knowing if she will stop breathing out of the blue.  After getting to know Dena more, I now know where Kylee gets her strong, brave and positive spirit from.

Both Dena and Kylee would like more people to be more aware of this rare disease that has greatly affected their lives. 

 As I previously mentioned, EDS is a collagen disorder.  Collagen is in about 90% of our bodies from our skin, tendons, ligaments, stomachs, the valves in our hearts and much more.  Broken collagen doesn't work well at all.  Think of it like this:  most people's joints have ligaments that work like elastic bands, stretching and then going back to their original form. With EDS tendons and ligaments are like a piece of gum - they will stretch (and keep on stretching beyond a rubber band) but will not go back to their original form. So a person with EDS can end up with joints that won't stay in place or slide around, heart  valves that don't work properly because they become floppy, GERD/acid reflux because the valve in their esophagus gets so floppy and stays open allowing stomach acid to come back up and burn their throat/esophagus.  A person can get malabsorption of vitamins, gastro paresis and so much more

For more info about EDS, you can check out:  www.ednf.org